


Epoch

by Blizziix



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: Gen, I Tried, POV First Person, Short Chapters, α Attractor Field
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16742605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizziix/pseuds/Blizziix
Summary: This takes place in the α Attractor Field. Mayuri is dead, for Okabe has given up his journey to save her. He is left in a state of despair, approximating his personality that takes place in Steins; Gate 0. Okabe must now move on, finding life without Mayuri.





	Epoch

**Author's Note:**

> I am horrible at making commitments, but I will try to release a chapter once a week. I will be working on other stories as well, so it might be longer. Just know that I will eventually get back to making this, and I will not abandon it.

She was so young. No, she was too young. I promised to protect her, keep her as my hostage. But I failed. The thought haunts me. Why could I let this happen? I let her die. Like a failure, the overwhelming stress became too much, and I gave up the fight. I could’ve gone back. I could’ve saved her. She died in every timeline that I tried to keep her alive in. It has come down to the simple fact that I have officially given up. There is no way to change the past anymore. She just dies. There is no use in trying anymore. This is all too much, I can’t seem to process what has happened. I know she’s dead, Mayuri is dead, right? Why can’t I just believe it? Damn it all, this is all my fault. There is no other way to describe it. If I just hadn’t pursued this entire mad scientist act, this stupid time travel science. This would all be different, I could’ve lived happily with Mayuri, studying some other science. I could have met Kurisu some other way, could I have not? None of that matters anymore. Mayuri is gone, and she’s not coming back. I can’t stand to face Daru, let alone Kurisu anymore. They will either have to forget me, or get used to this horrifying side of me. The Future Gadgets Laboratory will never be the same without her. It will always have that empty spot, just yearning for her. The same for my heart, it will have a missing piece. Part of me is gone, vanished, completely evaporated. Or, so it feels, at least. If she dies in every timeline, then it must be meant to be. I must be this way for a reason. Just miserable to the very core. My head is pounding with these never ending thoughts. I’m so tired, far too tired to even try to move on from this. I’ve lost track of time. Hell, I don’t know long it’s been since I’ve last slept. I don’t know the date, or how long it’s been since she’s died. This must be what she felt when her grandmother passed away. So alone, so abandoned, so lost, so… missing. It’s truly a horrible feeling. Only someone truly sick would like how this feels. Someone truly insane, perhaps mad? I don’t even care anymore, this all leads nowhere. I can only hear one thing. One thing that my mind is telling me. The only thing I can think of right now. It repeats over and over and over. _I’m broken. I’m broken. I’m broken._


End file.
